Whole Health in All Relationships

As we wander through our lives, with intent hopefully, we interact with all sorts of individuals. As we make our way through each personality and character, we learn a little more about ourselves, either through mirroring or mistakes or something in between. All aspects of interaction can have a positive effect if we choose it to be so, despite how uncomfortable it may be to experience.

I have recently had such an interaction. My perspective of a recent relationship (for lack of a more encompassing, generic term) was just blown apart by the other party. I had some ideas in my head, having gathered such from our time spent together. From what was just shared with me, I was way off about what the other experienced during that time together. With the input I heard, I can't say that anything I felt from the other person was an accurate portrayal of that person's experience. I feel like the whole time we spent together was based on false information and was only perpetuated by the other party because of fear of telling the truth. So, if two people seem to be compatible and enjoy each other's company and might even find themselves 'in like' with each other, one or both of them may be doing it only to please the other person. That's all I can gather from the experience at this point. It's a little befuddling, to be sure. I don't feel hurt by the information, but I am reminded to be wary of people because, in this case, even unsolicited third-party perspective confirmed what I was feeling to be true. I suppose we were all wrong. Mainly because the other party had a strong opinion that wasn't shared with me. And, this info is now being used as armor to protect against me... or, more accurately, as a weapon to use against me.

Also, very important information was shared with me and not with others and I am now being accused of spreading rumours. I don't know about the people you know if your life, but I actually desist in gossiping or participating in the rumor mill. I have a very close group of friends who I talk out situations with, though my perspective is always about the cause and effects of people's actions and how it affects those around them. I carefully choose these confidants by who can be trusted with such information. I would never test out a new friend's trustworthiness by divulging anything of real importance to them. Therefore, I am confident that the information leak that I am being blamed for did not come from me at all. At this point, it's not about defending myself against mis-information, but I am fascinated how far this was allowed to go.

I'm now being asked if it would have been better to tell me right away about the issue that came up -- I say "YES!" It would have eliminated a lot of wasted time and energy for us both. If you know that someone you're seeing isn't going to align with you for ANY reason at all, you owe it to yourself (even if not them) to be honest. Why continue knowing what you know? No one will benefit from this type of relationship, in the long run, despite what immediate gratification can be gained. My advice after all this is said and done? Be true to yourself in all ways.