chillin' before rit

haven't been on here in a long while.
things are going great. i am experiementing with lots of new feelings and situations. I am also exercising my abilty to live in the moment. I think I know how to do this already, though.... so, I must be anticipating a different resolution to the situation at hand.... hmmmm.

in any case, we had a busy day today. involving shopping trips to finish out birthday presents for D. I was glad to have her there to pick out a mitt for the upcoming baseball season. We also spent her gift card from grandparents.... then, hooked up to help a friend with some car trouble... found our way to the Enchanted Forest for a small shopping spree there, too. We brought home a cute fairie kitten. Cute. Then home, to chill and re-energize before heading out to 4:30 soccer game. Now, I'm chilling a moment before jumping into the shower and getting to the "Feast of the Gods". Should be fun!

Hope all is well out there. I'm pushing energy for love and light... are you?????

--k

occupado

doesn't seem like almost 2 months since i last posted. I suppose I've been busy. My private life has been filled with time with D. She is headed off to see her dad for the summer. I am only worried that the closeness we've gained and the bonding we've accomplished this year will be replaced by her father's disrespect for authority and she will return as she was last year -- beligerent(sp?) and headstrong/not listening. I hope she retains the respect she's grown to show and that she has a wonderful summer with her cousins and dad. 'nuf said. no need to put fears out there as reality, right?

Myself, I will be playing at being a single lady, I suppose. Not that I have to be convinced to do that! As anyone who knows me is aware, I don't shrink from that role.

I have a class planned for astrology. A wonderful teacher and friend has opened up her doors to teach a select few the fine understanding of the relationship of the stars. I am really looking forward to that series of three classes.

Also, I have a trip to Oregon in the making. I'm working on timing right now. I think I'll be in Oregon for about 5 days/nights. One of my original myspace friends has invited me to use her pad, if needed. I find that show of generosity to be a very kind way of making a new friend. Of course, I've invited her along for the ride, if she can make it. I plan on driving around the state, with particular spots in mind -- the Pacific Ocean, Sisters and volcanos to be certain. This is a result of a mission I am choosing to accept -- given by the Egyptian goddess, Sesheta. Also, I am really looking forward to seeing that part of the country. It will be the furthest West I have ever gone. And to get to see volcanos! COOL.

The last few rituals have really helped me to come out of the dark times. I hear it was an especially rich time for many people who found themselves going through disarmingly difficult times. I say 'rich' because the dark times are the time of the seed. It is the time when new growth is sparked. Usually not by completed thought, more often by inklings of ideas. As evidence, the spring is rich with new green growth of those seeds. Similarly, the sparks of ideas lead to growth of self. In the planting of our own inner seeds, the dark times of winter compel the new growth of spring. The opportunities for seeds with substance -- which were there for those having an unusually difficult time -- are what we were rich in this past winter. There are many people who went deeply into their personal depths, spreading light as they went, to see into their shadows and closets. This delving has provided them with many opportunities for digging through the hidden in their lives and prospering on the charity of giving up these burdens. In doing so, there will be created spaces for new, healthy and enriching experiences, which will take form later, during the harvesting of the year. This is part of the cycle of the year. Thought my lunch partner today might appreciate the expanded concepts. ;-)

I have had an interesting Sed this year. It has been extremely prosperous in the way that only Sed can be. I am blessed, for certain. And the moon is still young. How exciting!

Blessings,
--karen

rubbernecking

there are some characteristics of people that are irritating. Yet, I am somehow immune to most of those features, until I am directly affected. Therefore, I tend to overlook those undesirables by focusing more on what is good in a person and by realizing that I have my own bothersome quirks (or worse -- faults!!).

However, I realized yesterday that there is one thing that is still unforgiveable in my book... rubbernecking. It is a phenomenon that I truly do not understand. Why are humans compelled to watch tragedy? Why do they SLOW DOWN on the highway to 'partake' in their own way with something that is none of their business and occurring on the opposite side of the freeway? I cannot believe how susceptible people are to this tendency. I have no trouble sliding by accidents where there may be flashing lights, people walking around and a crashed-up vehicle. My desire is to keep my eyes on my side of the road, so as to avoid another incident just like the one that currently troubles the stacks of people forced to wait through the slow-down.

Rubbernecking sucks. If you do it, why? From the number of drivers that negatively affect those behind and around them, I presume that most everyone who reads this is a rubbernecker.

Let me know if you agree or let me know what is so compelling that it is necessary to do more than take a glance at the scene.

CC shows - a completely different side of me

On April 27, I'll be attending another Chris Cornell show... at the Palladium Ballroom in Dallas.

I have seen CC 7 times: Look, my memory is a little faulty, so pardon possible wrong dates
1. SG - Lollapalooza 1992 - New Orleans (incl. Pearl Jam, Ministry, RHCP, Hole, and many more=awesome show!!)
2. SG - Dallas Live (?) 1995ish (Rev. Horton Heat opened, I believe)
3. SG - Austin 1996 - small venue (got to meet & hug him & get autograph!!)
4. SG - Lollapalooza 1997? - Ferris TX (incl. Metallica, Screaming Trees, Soul Coughing)
5. Euphoria Morning - Dallas (Deep Ellum Live)
6. Audioslave - Lollapalooza 2004 (incl. Korn, Janes Addctn, Disturbed, yay!!)
7. Audioslave - Dallas Nov. 2006 Out of Exile (the band was tight, but his voice was wrong)

SO, now to the point...
EACH and EVERY time I see CC play live... I am a different person than my everyday self (a little freaky, outgoing, friendly, real). With CC, I am something like those girls you'd see in old reels of Beatles shows... holding their hands to their faces, eyes forward only seeing their band -- they were EnGrOsSeD !! That is me. I have only one thing on my mind and in my eyes when I see him perform. It's only gotten worse with the years. ;-)

In the SG days, he was an absolute god - bare-chested, long-haired and bouncing with energy. He would slam his feet on the stage, then leap into the air with abandon, moving the audience along with his pure energy.

Now, he prowls the stage, still performs antics, but everything is much more measured. The thing I noticed these last few shows is his eye contact. He constantly searches the crowd. I'm sure it's got to be quite an eyeful - looking at the faces of your fans in such a venue. He focuses on something/one in the crowd, then lets his eyes rest on the next thing to focus on. It is such a 'familiar' and intimate (gosh I'm crazy) manner to have with an audience. I am totally mesmerized when I see him do this. At the last show, I was two people back from the front barricade in the Pit section, dancing with my eyes closed at one point... only to blink them open to see him looking at me, then quickly looking away. Enchanting. (told you I'm crazy!)

an open letter 02.01.07

Confidence to confide in confusion
knowing the words will not form same as the thoughts
yes still i believe believe believe
yet the fluid framework we exist to be a part of cannot contain
the whole of the freedom of knowing no boundaries
the universe is open to all thoughts and falsities
truth must be I

No falling back now that I know
Scraping the planes of reality I choose not to scar
the plans loosely created by imagination and intent set to purpose
no crying will change the whole truth
no looking away will change the view
with the gateways open
there is only to see and be seen

trailing behind the mystic, days pass
and lives unfold the creation of my love
a flower blooming with each blink
lighting a unique fire burning so bright
on your own yet still needing my warmth
train me and i teach you the wisdoms of the innocent
a gem in the treasure of the whole of you and all you've become

this is my thoughts and existence bound
my magic and mystique blended to one
forming a fractured whole
many facets, some will mirror, some will mar and distort,
all will be a truth despite the play at which you game
tempt me no further if you have not a wish to grant me –
a departure from the plain, the expected, taking in
the tragic and abounding gifts as a feast with the whole.

Whole Health in All Relationships

As we wander through our lives, with intent hopefully, we interact with all sorts of individuals. As we make our way through each personality and character, we learn a little more about ourselves, either through mirroring or mistakes or something in between. All aspects of interaction can have a positive effect if we choose it to be so, despite how uncomfortable it may be to experience.

I have recently had such an interaction. My perspective of a recent relationship (for lack of a more encompassing, generic term) was just blown apart by the other party. I had some ideas in my head, having gathered such from our time spent together. From what was just shared with me, I was way off about what the other experienced during that time together. With the input I heard, I can't say that anything I felt from the other person was an accurate portrayal of that person's experience. I feel like the whole time we spent together was based on false information and was only perpetuated by the other party because of fear of telling the truth. So, if two people seem to be compatible and enjoy each other's company and might even find themselves 'in like' with each other, one or both of them may be doing it only to please the other person. That's all I can gather from the experience at this point. It's a little befuddling, to be sure. I don't feel hurt by the information, but I am reminded to be wary of people because, in this case, even unsolicited third-party perspective confirmed what I was feeling to be true. I suppose we were all wrong. Mainly because the other party had a strong opinion that wasn't shared with me. And, this info is now being used as armor to protect against me... or, more accurately, as a weapon to use against me.

Also, very important information was shared with me and not with others and I am now being accused of spreading rumours. I don't know about the people you know if your life, but I actually desist in gossiping or participating in the rumor mill. I have a very close group of friends who I talk out situations with, though my perspective is always about the cause and effects of people's actions and how it affects those around them. I carefully choose these confidants by who can be trusted with such information. I would never test out a new friend's trustworthiness by divulging anything of real importance to them. Therefore, I am confident that the information leak that I am being blamed for did not come from me at all. At this point, it's not about defending myself against mis-information, but I am fascinated how far this was allowed to go.

I'm now being asked if it would have been better to tell me right away about the issue that came up -- I say "YES!" It would have eliminated a lot of wasted time and energy for us both. If you know that someone you're seeing isn't going to align with you for ANY reason at all, you owe it to yourself (even if not them) to be honest. Why continue knowing what you know? No one will benefit from this type of relationship, in the long run, despite what immediate gratification can be gained. My advice after all this is said and done? Be true to yourself in all ways.

The Meeting with the Goddess

Woman, in the picture language of mythology, represents the totality of what can be known. The hero is the one who comes to know. As he progresses in the slow initiation which is life, the form of the goddess undergoes for him a series of transfigurations: She can never be greater than himself, though she can always promise more than he is yet capable of comprehending.

-- Joseph Campbell, The Hero with a Thousand Faces

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The soul of a woman was created below...

--Jimmy Page, Dazed and Confused

Holy Sand

If all the grains of sand in the Holy Land were accounted for and then distributed to everyone who believes in their right to a piece of that sacred place, would that put the holy wars to rest? Or what more could they find to fight over then?

New Year's Premonitions

I find myself healthier this year.
I find more peace and harmony this year.
I find myself in a position of having more of what I want and less of what I don't.
I do more to make my part of the world a better place.
I create a plan for my goals and achieve what I want by acting upon my plans.

I find love and friendship everywhere.

I wish for us all a peaceful, happy and prosperous year.